Category Archives: Randomness

Parody headlines that need to happen: US Shutdown Edition

So if you’ve been avoiding US politics like I should have been, you need to know that over in the States, the Republican refusal to let Obama have anything has led to them shutting down the government for reasons that are by and large incoherent and stupid.

But I’m not going to talk about how the idiots responsible for this should be beaten with tyre irons until they put on their big boy pants and behave like responsible citizens of a democracy rather than spoilt toddlers refusing to accept that they can’t have what they want. (They should, but I’m not going to go into that.) Rather, I’m going to list parody headlines regarding bits and pieces about it.

Obama confesses shutdown his fault – “I should have burped Boehner after giving him his bottle,” President admits.

New developments in trucker citizen grand jury – Planners propose second grand jury to arrest Supreme Court for when they are told to piss off.

Support for Republican Party at all time highchair – New chairs have been installed for Republican candidates

New GOP policy: outlaw alcohol and smuggle it! “The protection racket isn’t working, so we’re going into bootlegging,” says Cruz. “Sadly, Prohibition has been over for 80 years now, so we’ll need to reinstitute the 18th Amendment.”

Tea Party sets up new entrance test: applicants google Tea Party website; those who can find it are told to go away. “We’ve found that it’s really helped us find our core supporters – people militantly allergic to fact checking,” says spokesperson.

Worse Than WBTC has been postponed until the US gets its act together.

– OSM out


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Can’t post. Dungeon Robber.

It can be found here.

That’s all.

– OSM out

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CSU’s message system is not very good

Charles Sturt University has a somewhat poor message system.

Basically, instead of emailing you important messages, it sends you an email saying that you have an important message. So you end up logging into two sites only to discover that a student survey is considered an important message in CSULand.

This has been another useless ramble.

– OSM out

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So. New Doctor.

It has been confirmed that Peter Capaldi will be the new Doctor Who.

I have no opinions about this whatsoever.

I have seen virtually none of his work. I don’t even remember him in the one episode of Who he was already in. I assume the BBC think he’ll do a good job, otherwise they wouldn’t have cast him, but I have no real points of comparison on which to judge him.

This is why I find the people who are panicking over him being appointed to be a bit frustrating. Guys: wait until we actually see him PLAYING THE DOCTOR before you panic. Then, if he’s not very good in the role, I will stand by you as you scream to the heavens about it. But please wait until you actually see how it pans out before you do so, you’re giving me a headache.

– OSM out


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50 Things That Are More Fun To Listen To Than John Laws

(These are ranked randomly rather than according to personal preference.)

  1. Weird Al Yankovic.
  2. The Rolling Stones.
  3. The Who.
  4. Gotye.
  5. The Protomen.
  6. The Megas.
  7. Homestuck music.
  8. Sam Cooke.
  9. Yusuf Islam.
  10. The best of the Beatles.
  11. The worst of the Beatles.
  12. The worst of inept drunken Beatles wannabes.
  13. Cats complaining.
  14. Taio Cruz.
  15. That goddamn awful Flo Rida blowjob song.
  16. Meatloaf (the singer).
  17. Meatloaf (the food).
  18. Christopher Walken singing the MLP theme song.
  19. Queen.
  20. HRH the Queen.
  21. Mr T rapping.
  22. Skyhooks.
  23. Supertramp.
  24. Bon Jovi.
  25. Medieval surgery.
  26. MC Hammer.
  27. Chainsaws.
  28. Pig Power in the House.
  29. Don McLean’s American Pie.
  30. Madonna’s awful cover of American Pie.
  31. The words to an American Pie movie played backwards.
  32. Jim Croce.
  33. Jim Cummings.
  34. Gym class.
  35. Sneezing.
  36. Roy Orbison.
  37. Roy Zimmerman.
  38. Row Row Row Your Boat.
  39. Corduroy whiffling.
  40. F#$@ing Call Me Maybe.
  41. The Pretenders.
  42. Disney villain songs.
  43. Achy Breaky Heart.
  44. High-pitched children arguing.
  45. A jackhammer.
  46. A car alarm.
  47. A first-time violin player.
  48. A dripping tap.
  49. Static.
  50. Just turning off the damn radio.

– OSM out

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Apologies for the hiatus

The first apology I have is that I went on hiatus for so long without warning.

(The second apology I have is that this left that stupid piece on Tumblr feminism at the top for a month. Really not sure why I thought writing that was a good idea.)

Reasons behind the hiatus:

2% distracted by Magic: the Gathering games.

3% distracted by Chuubo’s Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine kickstarter drafts.

1% distracted by TV Tropes

14% “If I post on Monday, people will expect a Fountainhead update on Friday and I can’t handle any more of this crap.”

80% sheer abject laziness

So! I have set myself a challenge: to start updating *every* day of the week, with no exceptions. Time will tell whether this produces actual quality or if it just burns me out in a fortnight. I’m also discontinuing my Fountainhead thing; I’m going to do just one megapost in a while where I go into great detail on why I hate this book so very much.

Tomorrow: A rant about Australian asylum seeker policies. (Spoiler: they’re both awful.)

– OSM out

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MTG: Return to Ravnica Block Awesome Awards

I’m going to start doing this thing sort of irregularly.

Bear in mind that I am not sorting according to power or combo potential, although that may be a factor. These are subjective awards calculated purely on coolness.


Most Awesome Non-Multicoloured Mythic Rare

#3: Utvara Hellkite. The image of blanketing the skies with dragons is just too epic for words, especially in EDH. I do not have a copy of this one, but I really wish I did.

#2: Giant Adephage. The huge beetle is cool. Its ability to multiply is cool. The way it works well with all the green guilds (even, to a degree, the Golgari Swarm) is cool. Therefore, it gets a silver award.

#1: Maze’s End. I really, really like interesting alternate win conditions. ‘Nuff said.

Runners-up: Angel of Serenity, Necropolis Regent, Worldspine Wurm


Most Awesome Multicoloured Mythic Rare

#3: Master Biomancer.  If you’ve ever seen him in action, you’ll know why. There is nothing more rewarding than scavenging a Deadbridge Goliath onto him, then having every creature enter the battlefield with seven +1/+1 counters on it. Just watch out for removal.

#2: Borborygmos Enraged. And he most certainly is. His abilities have a nice amount of synergy, plus, y’know, turning land draws that are probably dead when you can cast him into lightning bolts.

#1: Voice of Resurgence. It’s astonishing how elegantly designed this creature is.

Runners-up: Progenitor Mimic, Blood Baron of Vizkopa, Vraska the Unseen


Most Awesome Non-Multicoloured Rare

#3: Mizzium Mortars. I have a soft spot for heavy-duty fireball bombardments.

#2: Stolen Identity. Cloning shenanigans are always fun, and repeatable cloning shenanigans are even more fun.

#1: Grave Betrayal. It’s too expensive to be particularly useful, but just look at how crazy cool it is.

Runners-up: Angelic Skirmisher, Chromatic Lantern, Pontiff of Blight


Most Awesome Nonlegendary Multicoloured Rare

#3: Dragonshift. Yay dragons.

#2: Fathom Mage. With the right creatures – i.e. any creatures – this thing is good. Within a dedicated evolve deck, it’s a lot better.

#1: Debt to the Deathless. The art is nightmarishly cool, and its ability to bias an entire EDH game in your favour is also very awesome.

Runners-up: Biovisionary, Azor’s Elocutors, Assemble the Legion


Most Awesome Legendary Multicoloured Rare

#3: Varolz, the Scar-Striped. Interacts really well with not only his own guild, but also the Gruul and even Simic. (I should probably Cockatrice up one of those decks sometime.)

#2: Melek, Izzet Paragon. Copying is fun. Copying for free is even more fun. If only his final ability was broader.

#1: Vorel of the Hull Clave. Really, the question isn’t what UG deck he goes in, it’s what UG deck he doesn’t.

Runners-up: Tajic, Exava, Mirko Vosk.


Most Awesome Shark

#3: Battering Krasis.

#2: Shambleshark.

#1: That Shark Bug Creature On “Give”.

Runners-Up: Jaws, The Hypothetical Bloodthirst Shark We Nearly Got In M12, The Mafia Don Shark From That Movie With The Creepy Will Smith Fish


The next set of Awesome Awards will be awarded on the official date of “sometime between M14 and Theros”.

– OSM out

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