Parody headlines that need to happen: US Shutdown Edition

So if you’ve been avoiding US politics like I should have been, you need to know that over in the States, the Republican refusal to let Obama have anything has led to them shutting down the government for reasons that are by and large incoherent and stupid.

But I’m not going to talk about how the idiots responsible for this should be beaten with tyre irons until they put on their big boy pants and behave like responsible citizens of a democracy rather than spoilt toddlers refusing to accept that they can’t have what they want. (They should, but I’m not going to go into that.) Rather, I’m going to list parody headlines regarding bits and pieces about it.

Obama confesses shutdown his fault – “I should have burped Boehner after giving him his bottle,” President admits.

New developments in trucker citizen grand jury – Planners propose second grand jury to arrest Supreme Court for when they are told to piss off.

Support for Republican Party at all time highchair – New chairs have been installed for Republican candidates

New GOP policy: outlaw alcohol and smuggle it! “The protection racket isn’t working, so we’re going into bootlegging,” says Cruz. “Sadly, Prohibition has been over for 80 years now, so we’ll need to reinstitute the 18th Amendment.”

Tea Party sets up new entrance test: applicants google Tea Party website; those who can find it are told to go away. “We’ve found that it’s really helped us find our core supporters – people militantly allergic to fact checking,” says spokesperson.

Worse Than WBTC has been postponed until the US gets its act together.

– OSM out


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