Five Internet-Era Things That Need To Die Painfully


5. Endless New Appearances By Censorship Legislation

I can’t be the only one who’s aggravated by receiving endless messages about some new law Americans have come up with that will cripple half the internet, since I kinda-sorta *don’t live in America* and therefore my ability to interfere in their passage is limited. Either pass the legislation once and for all, or (preferably) get it rejected and stop trying forever, because mashing Retry every time the attempt fails is *really annoying* and I would be very happy if you would *stop it already*.

4. Internet Access Being Required To Play Games Which Are Not Online At All.

Mass Effect. Angry Birds. SimCity. Once common trend that unites these games: they are not online. There is no reason for them to be online. It would be the work of a lunatic to decree that they should be online. Why, then, do you need internet access to play them, apart from corporate idiots who are morbid piratophobes?

 

3. Facebook

I have a fairly comprehensive hatred of Facebook. To me, it is little better than a mobile phone, another annoying thing of little merit that only serves to do annoying things at stupid times. Mainly, I hate that it nets me a lot of spam, and “happy birthday” comments that I feel bad not responding to but don’t really want to enter Facebook again to deal with.

 

2. “Upgrades” That Take Half An Hour To Make Whatever Is Being Upgraded Worse

Recently one of the two email accounts I maintain (one for business, one for pleasure) received the “upgrade” to Outlook, which as far as I can tell is not an improvement in any way, shape, or form. (The other one hasn’t, maybe because I kept telling the popups not to.) Why did you do this? What is the point of “upgrades” that either don’t change anything or make it worse? Why did Angry Birds get an “upgrade” that stopped it working on my laptop? Why does any internet-enabled modern laptop get near-daily “updates” that take twenty minutes to configure and do nothing? Why engage in this pointless spam?

 

1. Stuff Written As Yourself: Less Interesting Than Stuff Written As Karkat

This blog: 11 followers.

My Karkat physics tumblr: 30 followers.

Hooray for self-expression, I guess.

(Just kidding, I love all my readers – all 11 of you!)

– OSM out

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