Bitterness: A state in which one is so fed up with all these other definitions that they make a self-indulgent blog post about it (cough, cough).
Constructive criticism: Criticism other people are directing at you. (see Insult)
Determination: The ability to persevere at something people want you to do. (see Stubbornness)
Honesty: 1. A thing people approve of in the abstract but always get offended by when it’s directed at them.
Humility: 1. A thing to be paradoxically smug about. 2. The state of continually underestimating yourself.
Insult: Criticism you are directing at other people. (see Constructive criticism)
Maturity: 1. A state in which hypocrisy no longer bothers you, especially your own. 2. A white flag waved at the faults of the world. 3. A list of traits the speaker thinks they possess that they want you to possess as well.
Objectivity: The state of having a fully functional nonsense detector. Strongly denigrated in places noted for a solid adherence to bizarre traditions, such as the planet Earth. (Seriously, what is the point of ties?)
Paranoia: A state of clear judgment.
Respect: 1. A thing you have to earn and can’t just demand. 2. A thing your boss hasn’t bothered earning and is right now demanding. 3. A thing conspicuously absent from any statement that begins “with all due respect”.
Responsibility: A rare kind of tree that magically becomes taller whenever someone wants you to do something.
Stubbornness: The ability to persevere at something other people don’t want you to do. (see Determination)
Tact: The most socially acceptable form of outright dishonesty.
– OSM out