Rules for Commenting


Because I think it’s important to set these down now, rather than later, here are a few rules for any of you who wish to achieve the awesome* and inspiring* notoriety* of one who has posted a comment on this blog. So if you’ve posted something that you intended constructively and it hasn’t made the cut, a) it’s your own fault, and b) here’s how you can ensure that your next contribution to this incredible* repository* of human knowledge makes the cut.

Also I have no better ideas for what to write today, and you can count yourself lucky I didn’t go with my first idea and turn this into a Karkat-style time travel flame war. I have read way too much Homestuck over the past few weeks.

[note: words marked with * are sarcastic]

 

Rule #1: I Do Not Live Under A Bridge And Harass Billygoats.

Unless you can provide conclusive evidence that you do, in fact, come from Alternia, trolls are not welcome here. I don’t mind people disagreeing with me. A good debate is a fun way to spend an afternoon. But incoherent personal attacks are neither good nor a form of debate, and thus, I class them as trolling. (I have no doubt that the guy who described atheism as “a unique ideology of the lost,the doubter,and selfish.,” [sic] thought he was contributing, but a) I don’t like being insulted, b) I don’t see what’s so bad about doubt, and c) the punctuation has me on the verge of going full Kharn the Betrayer, so goodbye.)

 

Rule #2: I Am Not A Singing Viking In A Restaurant

I don’t class spam as just the ravings of mindless digital dimwits set up by con artists to send nonsense, but commentary that adds nothing to anything. As a result, incoherent nonsense and stuff that’s off-topic is likely to be given the Big Goodbye. (So far I’ve only let one post make it past this rule, and that comes from someone I know in meatspace so he kind of gets a free pass. Wantonly abusing my power? Well it’s about the only power I have, so what the hell.) Taking a leaf from MTG Salvation, I’m also defining one-word and one-letter posts as spam. So the guy who just wrote “9”, well, sorry, but if you could include more detail next time, your comment might actually make it onto the page.

 

Rule #3: I Am, In Fact, Invading Grammar Czechoslovakia

I don’t mind a bit of linguistic disruption. Sentences that aren’t perfectly grammatical don’t send me into killing rages, and a typo won’t have me coming down on you like a ton of bricks. But if you can’t figure out the space key or complete a simple sentence without four misspellings, then you’re not welcome here. (If English is not your first language, then I’m sorry, but I want to set a good example for others for whom English is not their first language, and part of that is keeping this place at least relatively safe for the sanity of the ghosts of Strunk and White.)

 

And that’s how you can fill an entire 500 word post without needing to come up with quality content.

– OSM out

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